Sheep Lover Bob

What is it with all these jokes about hillbillies and farm animals? Can a sheep really be man’s best friend? Or is that all just a myth? Well, it seems to be a little of both. Read on and you will see what I mean. Everything I am about to tell you is completely true.

Some years ago I was working with the maintenance crew at a hospital. During the summer they hired extra men, mostly for landscaping, and that was when we met Bob. Bob was in his late 40s and was about 5 foot 4 and around 120 pounds. His face and hands were reddened and weathered. You could tell he had had a fairly rough life.

Bob told us that he had spent a lot of years hitch hiking around and working on various farms from Georgia up into Kentucky. He then told us that he had had sex with just about any farm animal you could mention, but his favorite was a sheep. He told us in some detail of his nefarious adventures with such mates as goats, horses, cows, and of course sheep. Naturally we thought that was hilarious, but at the same time we wondered about a man who would actually tell this sort of thing on himself. Especially as the new man on a job.

I asked Bob whether he would prefer a woman to a sheep. He said the sheep was better! He told us that we could make fun and laugh all we wanted to as we were the ones who were missing out and he wasn’t ashamed of it.

I started pranking with old Bob and poking a little fun at him. I came out one day and yelled out, “Bob! You got a phone call in the boiler room!” He yelled back, “Who is it?” I answered, “I don’t know. They just said Baaaa Ba-a-a-a Bo-o-o-obbb!” (insert sheep sound here). Everyone got a good laugh. Bob just looked down and went back to work.

That’s been more than 20 years ago but I still remember old Bob from time to time and I even find myself saying, “Baa-a-a Bo-o-obbb”. I wonder if that old sheep lovin’ codger is still around somewhere, or perhaps he has long departed for that pasture in the sky.

By D Slone, Copyright 2009

Filed under: General Funny

Comments

2 Responses to “Sheep Lover Bob”
  1. Richie says:

    I once worked in a small manufacturing plant where there were people who occasionally talked about nasty “foods” like squirrel, chitterlings, and various things that came off a pig other than ham, bacon, or pork. They also joked with each other about cohorting with farm animals. In fact, one of the guys I worked openly put down hillbillies by wearing a t-shirt printed with a yellow caution sign that had a stick figure-man kneeling behind a sheep!

  2. Leroy T. Fishbone says:

    Had a old goat hillbilly tell me one time. When he was a kid there were no girls around his farm to learn about sex so he use to screw the old milk cow!! He said when he got done he would jump up on her back and scratch her bach when she would cock her head around to see what he was doing he would kiss her good nite!!!! He said that was alot easier than getting off the stool and walking all the way around front to kiss her good nite!!!! lol

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