Howdy y'all! I've been called both hillbilly and crazy all my life so I reckon I've earned the title Crazy Hillbilly fair and square.
The purpose of this blog is really just to make you laugh and to try to make you think - Use that noggin!
Yeah, I try to do my part for the advancement of the Arts and Humanities. I provide people with stuff to read when they don't feel like doing anything productive. Now you can have some silly ideas floating around in your head when you finally stop being lazy and get back to working. Maybe you could even share some of them with your friends and co-workers for a laugh. Don't forget to tell them about HillbillyCrackpot.com
Hang around a bit and see what a crazy old hillbilly has to say about it. Below you will find the newest articles. For more browse the categories or use the search box at the top of this page.
Uphill Both Ways The Good Old Hillbilly Days
Think you go it bad? When I was a kid we had to walk 10 miles through the snowy mountains to get to school. It snowed every day and we had no clothes or shoes. To make matters even worse, it was uphill both ways. I remember my parents making similar statements to me, now I am saying things like that to my own children. (Actually I have exaggerated what my parents told me, but not what I tell my children).
It’s true! The kids today have it so much easier than “we” did. It isn’t uncommon at all for a kid to have their own cell phone, a TV, stereo, game systems, computer, etc. in their room. When I was that age I had to carry feed to the live stock and draw water from a well (and it was uphill both ways). …
How To Catch And Cook A Possum
I’m not sure why but there’s just something funny about possums to non-hillbillies. Would you laugh about a Crock-pot Beef Recipe? or a recipe for Lobster Thermidor? But when it comes to great meals like Crock-pot Possum or a Possum Stew some people find something humorous about it.
Well, I don’t know what you think about possums but us hillbillies takes ‘em serious. However, the stereotype of hillbillies eating possum are over exaggerated. The truth is that in most hillbilly homes you’d be lucky to see possum on the table two or three times a week. We always have possum less than three days out of the week at my house.
Once I was in Brooklyn and a guy from Staten Island asked me if it were true that “you people” eat possums. He was dead serious, I suppose he learned all about hillbillies from watching television, he had never been out of New York. With a very serious face I told him that yes, of course we eat possums but not every day. I told him that I went two or three days in a …
Who Was The Hottest Hillbilly Girl Ever?
The Beach Boys sang about California girls, but I bet they never had the thrill of seeing a real live hillbilly girl. If they had the song would have turned out much different. I can picture the music video for Hillbilly Girls in my mind and trust me, it is hot. I would imagine that several of the women in the video would even have most of their teeth left.
The women on this page are the stuff that both dreams and nightmares are made of. Anyway, there are women here that will strain your eyes and make your heart skip a bit or two. I know that many of you will be tempted to right click and save, but do you really want to spread this stuff further and risk others seeing it?
You may have nightmares after you view these women. The nightmares will be triggered because you will want them so badly but not be able to have them. Remember, website women whether they be hillbilly or not are look only files so you cant squeeze them and hug them (Unless you buy …
Educational Programs For The Non-Hillbilly
Before television hillbillies arrived on the scene much of the non-hillbilly world knew very little about these elusive people. I mean, have you ever seen National Geographic go film any crazy hillbillies?
The most well known hillbilly show, of course, was the Beverly Hillbillies. Many other fine educational programs designed to inform the world about the fine points of hillbilly life were produced over the years. Millions of people learned what a hillbilly was and how they behaved while they sat in front of their TVs. It was educational programming for the non-hillbilly (hillbilly challenged?) which presented a true life picture of hillbilly behavior.
Great educational classics such as Li’l Abner and Ma and Pa Kettle paved the way for a brighter future for humanity by providing the world with a historically and culturally accurate depiction of the hillbilly in his (or her) native habitat. …
Outhouse Diving For Drunk Hillbilly Girl
I have never lived in a house where we had to have an outhouse, but I do recall family members who did. Whenever we went to stay with any of these people we knew that we were going to be trudging out to the outhouse in the middle of the night.
According to some stories there was a 12 year old girl who went out around midnight to go to the outhouse. A long time passed but she didn’t come back into the house. Her parents became very worried and went out to check on her. The outhouse door was shut so they knocked on the door, “Are ya in thar? (Spoken as one word ‘ar-yin-thar’)” There was no reply. …
Hillbilly Cream Of Wheat
I do love Cream of Wheat and I do have a box in the kitchen. I think after I post this Cream of Wheat stuff I am going to go into the kitchen and fire up the old coal stove and run out to the well to get me some water and then I am a gonna make me some of that delicious Cream of Wheat (I wish they were paying me to say that but they aint).
Anyway, here is a Hillbilly Cream of Wheat recipe and an old old magazine ad which proves that cartoon characters have long been moonlighting in advertising. Humans are a commercial creature so it is completely normal for our fictional characters to be so as well.…