Hillbilly Ways To Recycle And Be Green

Hillbillies have always recycled and been green!

Written by Granny Corder (A real live hillbilly woman!)

Although, “green” is the new in thing, hillbillies have always been green and done their part to eliminate waste from the local roadside dumps. Us hillbillies re-use everything we can until it can’t be used no more! And, then we still use it for something else. Us hillbillies are very creative!
 
1. When we eat corn on the cob, we’ve always used the cobs for all kinds of other useful things. We’ve made pipes out of them to smoke our homegrown tobacco. Used them for toilet paper in the outhouse and even stuck some twigs on them and made reindeers for Christmas decorations or toys!

2. When hillbillies strangle a chicken or a rooster to make that delicious Sunday chicken and dumpling dinner, we don’t allow no waste. Some hillbillies wouldn’t have even had a mattress or a pillow if it weren’t for chicken feathers!

And, we don’t waste any parts of the chicken either. We eat the backs and the necks. Heck, my mother-in-laws favorite part of the chicken was the beak and the feet!

3. If we slaughter a pig, yum yum, we don’t waste none of it either. Why, last time I was at a pig butchering, the kids were fighting over who got the tail off the last pig! We pickle the feet, we make some souse meat out of the head, snout and all the other parts that most Northerner’s would call scraps! We even render lard from pigs fat!

4. When the childrens clothes just can’t be handed down no more, we cut them up and make quilts out of them!

Heck, if the clothes are too raggedy, we use them for toilet paper! And, that’s where we get our cleaning rags to!

5. Old tires might spend a lifetime in the local dump, but us hillbillies recycle them. We don’t go spending money on big flower pots for the yard, we just lay an old tire down, fill it with dirt and plant some seeds! They also make really good tree swings!

6. Heck when I was little, I never wasted any crayons. My mom would put all the little chunks in a small pan, heat it on the stove, let it cool and shape it in to one big multi-color crayon! Now people pay big money for them psychedelic crayons!

7. Lot’s of hillbillies wash out them plastic storage bags, hang them on the curtain rod with a clothes pin, let them dry and use them all over again! And, we always reuse butter bowls, whipped cream bowls and such!

8. We use bars of soap til they can’t be used no more and then we still use them! To make an automatic soaping rag, just take a rag, fold it over, sew up the bottom and side, leave the top open and toss in all those itty bitty pieces of soap. When the rag gets full, just wet it and Waa-Lah a self suding rag!

9. Too many aluminum pie pans?? Never a problem for a hillbilly, we just  hang them in the fruit trees to keep the birds from eating all the fruit! And, of course we use them to bake more stuff in to!

10. And, hillbillies have always tried to save the trees. We didn’t contribute to the death of a tree by buying doors for rooms inside the house. We just recycled old blankers by hanging them up over the bedroom doors for some privacy!

11. Most hillbillies have never, ever wasted a glass jug! We just wash them out real good and fill them up with moonshine from the still out back! We even use the small glass jars, we fill them with moonshine, errr medicine from the still out back!

12. When the old mule or horses shoes get worn out, we just drive a stake in the back yard and play games with them! And, we also hang them over the door to bring us good luck. of course, if you get confused and hang them upside down, all your luck runs out.

13. Heck, now a days people are looking for green lawn mowers to keep their grass cut. Hillbillies have always used green lawn mowers. A couple of good goats and you don’t ever have to worry about your grass getting to tall or weeds—anywhere! And, they’ll even eat the trash that you can’t recycle!

14. I seen a post on the site already about how much hillbillies love catalogs and junk mail like sale papers. Although, they do make great toilet paper, there great for keeping your home warm too!

Just get you some wallpaper paste, or make your own out of startch and wallpaper your walls with them. Old newspapers make great insulation for the walls! And, you can also use them for gift wrap!

15. Heck, until they started putting food for the livestock in these new fangled bags, we’d fight over who got a new shirt or dress made out of the feedsacks. Yeah, they were kind of rough, but we didn’t need no loofah sponge to bath with either!

By Granny Corder, Copyright 2009 HillBillyCrackpot.com all rights reserved and may not be republished in any form.

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Comments

6 Responses to “Hillbilly Ways To Recycle And Be Green”
  1. Artists Corner says:

    Unca Hank said not to forget the time the bank foreclosed cousin Jubel’s farm, and Jubel and aunt Minnie had to move to the pour house, and we got to recycle eight of the chillun’ into brand new farm hands! Boy howdy, that cut the days chores in half, if’n you could get ‘em all off’n their behinds to work. Though it got a little crowded ’bout supper time, and the beds were a little more crowded, it was a lot warmer, on them cold nights, all them bodies snuggled together, and a couple of more dogs warmed things up right smart. Shoot, thats where I found muh wife Bitsy, on one of those extry cold nights. ~Lil’ Brother Ephrum~.

  2. Merly Jean says:

    Hello Granny Corder I dont no ya ner nuthin but my Mamaw always has a sayin when she dont like the looks a sumthin or is a complanin. She says that haint werth a corder! I never did no that they was rilly som rill Corders out thar I haint never met nary til now. Are Corders bad? No fence but I wud like ta know why Mamaw Gerty always says that

  3. Granny Vaughn says:

    Coal had many good uses in Kentucky, though most have never heard of recyclin like this.There was parts of the coal that was cast off. They would pile it in big mounds sometimes big enough to be called a hill. These mounds were called Slate Dumps. You could slide down them,snow covered or not, iffn you had an old milk jug split open, or a old dog food bag.But stay on or you git yer clothes stained…”black as coal”, then mom would git ya!

  4. Karen M. says:

    You ole hillbilly’s are all kooky and crazy, what do you do with used condoms?

  5. Gregory Brown says:

    Granny,

    After reading those other stories, I’d say some of y’all need to go get some more book learnin!
    I’ve seen chickin scratchin that was easier to read!

    I was born in Kentucy and I ain’t no hillbilly! I’m a briar, but prefer to be called a “redneck.” My great grandma lived down in the hills. And we used a Sears & Robuk catalog in the out house when we visited her.

    Most of what you said I can believe…, except for one thing! Corn cobs don’t make good toilet paper! I’ve never done that! I have used leaves when I would hike out into the middle of nowhere!

    Now I know how to butcher a chidken too. And I’ve eaten more than a few backs! But I caught you on one mistake. You might eat a turkey’s neck, but that poor old chicken never had a neck worth eatin’. Just go to the grocery and try to buy a chicken neck. It can’t be done!

    Oh, one more thing. Hillbillies are from Michigan!! Now that I think about it, there were a lot of hillbillies movin to Virginia too!. I’d be careful how you talk back to them. They nearly started their own private war, and I’m not kidding! Really!!!

    Did you eat the gizzards too? With eight of us at the table, I’d eat just about anything I could get my hands on! And that included gizzards! And that little tip on the wings…, I’d eat them too!

    Don’t let me down! Write back reel soon!

  6. Roger says:

    My friend Tom s mom used to fix chicken fer Sunday lunch no one ever at the wings or the neck . One evening she got this fine idea . She would tell her girls . ( Did I tell you there was 6 girls and 3 boys )in the family .These girls were kinds small in the upper female parts So she got the girls, one at a time aside and told them if they at the necks and the wings there bossism. would grow lots bigger ,. After that there was a fight at the table for the wings and the necks IT worker it really worked.

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