Many years after that, there was another mother and told her own daughter to go and buy 3 bottles of milk. After that, when the girl came back, the mother was angry and said ‘You only bought 2 bottles of milk!’ And the mother decided that the little girl should be punished, and said that the girl should sleep outside for the night in the tent and said ‘and watch out for the click clack slide…’

So that night, while the girl was sleeping, something woke her up. She heard a noise from outside…click clack slide… click…

Why thank ya Merly Jean, no dont write that. Well Ok leave it in then. Lawd that child! Now that I am a famous person on the innernet I figgered I wud tell yall bout a special recipe we got fer making the best delishusest biscits and gravy you ever seed. If n you like to eat atall yore gonna love my recipe. Now mind ya it haint nuthin faincy, just old fashuned good home cookin.

Most a yall probly gots one a them new fangled ovens whuts got that radio dial lookin thang that tells ya how hot it is in thar. My Henry took an bawt me one back in 19 and 78 and it was the ornriest thang ta get use to. But I like it jess fine now. When I start gittin reddy ta make my biscits and gravy I reach over thar and turn that nob up to 450 so…

The house was over ninety years old back in 1986 and we lived there for eleven years. My father said that the noises we were hearing was the house settling but in ninety years it should have settled a long time ago. The house was by a church that was haunted.

When I got older my mother told me the story about the church. The ghost in the church was that of a man who was murdered in there. He was the piano player and he was staying late to practice and somebody came in and chopped him up.

My friend and I were cleaning the church one night when we heard a noise coming from up stairs where they found him so we went to investigate. When we got to the top…

I remember us sitting around watching the Beverly Hillbillies on TV. That was the first time I had ever seen these funny people. I asked my mother, “Are hillbillies really like that?” She told me they sure were and that she had actually talked to one of them when she went down to Lake Norris in Tennessee about 20 years ago. He talked real funny and she could barely understand what he was saying. “Is that where they live?” I asked her. That was how I found out that hillbillies were real people and they lived in Tennessee and Georgia mostly.

I thought hillbillies were funny, but they seemed to be real nice people. One evening after watching a few hours straight of the Beverly Hillbillies marathon my cousin, my…

My furst problim was I never did larn to read nor write, but I have a grand youngin named Merly Jean that kin write so these here words are her a writin down what I’m a tellin her.

Well let me tell you what I was mad to my soul when I lissened to my young Merly Jean read what was on this here website. If y’all dont stop makin funna us hill folks I’m a gonna get my Merly Jean to hep me make my own website and tell everbody not to go to that hillbilly crackpot website…

Written by Granny Corder (A real live hillbilly woman!)

Although, “green” is the new in thing, hillbillies have always been green and done their part to eliminate waste from the local roadside dumps. Us hillbillies re-use everything we can until it can’t be used no more! And, then we still use it for something else. Us hillbillies are very creative!
 
1. When we eat corn on the cob, we’ve always used the cobs for all kinds of other useful things. We’ve made pipes out of them to smoke our homegrown tobacco. Used them for toilet paper in the outhouse and even stuck some twigs on them and made reindeers for Christmas decorations or toys!

2. When hillbillies strangle a chicken or a rooster to make that delicious Sunday chicken and dumpling dinner, we don’t allow no waste. Some hillbillies wouldn’t have even had a mattress or a pillow if it weren’t for chicken feathers!

And, we don’t waste any parts of the chicken either. We eat the backs and the necks. Heck, my…

For all the processed meats in a can, what is so wrong with wanting to know where your food comes from? At least if you hit the possum, you know what wood it lived in and you don’t have to worry about additives that can kill you. Sure beats reading all them labels at the store, but hillbillies actually shop at Wal-Mart with the rest of us. Why go through all that trouble of sitting and waiting for a possum to cross the road? …

One morning around the break of daylight a farmer went to his barn to tend his animals. When he walked up the hill and came around to the barn he saw a strange sight. There was this fella, about 16 years old, standing on a metal lard bucket (Yep, we used to get lard in a big metal bucket!). The bucket was turned upside down and was situated at the rear end of one of the old man’s cows. You may have already guessed it, but if not, ole Larry was servicing that heifer in a special way. When he saw the old man he jumped off that bucket with his pants around his ankles and tripped and fell before finally getting up and running away. Too late, the…

To most of America, a Hillbilly is a person, usually white, uneducated, and living in the southern United States. The word Hillbilly is sometimes used as an insult, but more commonly it’s used in a joking fashion.

A common stereotype of Hillbilly life is that we are all inbred. Ask your self this: Is everyone in the south hideously deformed? If you answered yes, LEAVE NOW. My purpose here is to disprove all the unfair stereotypes that Hillbillies are forced to live with. All (ok, most) of these stereotypes are completely false.

A common myth is that all hillbillies live in the middle of the woods, and eat whatever they accidentally hit in their car. This is true!*

*Okay, no, it’s not true. But it is realistic. If you think about it, roadkill would be pretty tasty. When you, as a northerner, eat your fancy little pre-packaged veggie burger, not only are you slowly diminishing your manhood…

Some years ago I was working with the maintenance crew at a hospital. During the summer they hired extra men, mostly for landscaping, and that was when we met Bob. Bob was in his late 40s and was about 5 foot 4 and around 120 pounds. His face and hands were reddened and weathered. You could tell he had had a fairly rough life.

Bob told us that he had spent a lot of years hitch hiking around and working on various farms from Georgia up into Kentucky. He then told us that he had had sex with just about any farm animal you could mention, but his favorite was a sheep. He told us in some detail of his nefarious adventures with such mates as goats, horses, cows, and…