Howdy y'all! I've been called both hillbilly and crazy all my life so I reckon I've earned the title Crazy Hillbilly fair and square.
The purpose of this blog is really just to make you laugh and to try to make you think - Use that noggin!
Yeah, I try to do my part for the advancement of the Arts and Humanities. I provide people with stuff to read when they don't feel like doing anything productive. Now you can have some silly ideas floating around in your head when you finally stop being lazy and get back to working. Maybe you could even share some of them with your friends and co-workers for a laugh. Don't forget to tell them about HillbillyCrackpot.com
Hang around a bit and see what a crazy old hillbilly has to say about it. Below you will find the newest articles. For more browse the categories or use the search box at the top of this page.
I once worked with a woman who was hard core anti-hunting. Anytime the subject of hunting came up she got very passionate and upset. There was a hunter who worked with us. Sometimes he would talk about hunting trips and what he had killed and so on. This woman would get angry and yell at the guy about how horrible he was to kill an animal. Those of us who commented anything were likely to get yelled at as well. It got to the point that we were all about to get into trouble with the boss if we didn’t avoid the subject.
This same woman was a frequent visitor to the McDonald’s drive-thru and talked of big dinners at Applebee’s and various steak houses. She was happy and willing to go out on a date and eat a steak and tater. She wore leather shoes and carried a leather purse because those were the best and she liked quality.
The important thing in her world was that her date (and her friends, coworkers, etc) did not engage in killing animals. She could never abide …..................... Read Complete Article...
If I win that danged old power ball I would be more surprised than anyone. I don’t have a snowballs chance to win any of that money. I would like to tell you all that I have never wasted a dime on the lottery. Instead I must admit that I have squandered ten times that amount.
On the first day lottery tickets were sold in Kentucky I bought a $1 ticket. It was a $1 winner! I had won back my dollar bill.
I was excited by all that money and feeling very wealthy with my greenback dollar.
Greed overtook me and I bought another ticket. That last ticket was a loser and so was I.
That losing ticket traumatized me to the point that I have never bought another since. There I was, an innocent young girl, with dreams and plans on what I was going to do with all my winnings. From the second I saw that my ticket was a winner right up to the point I realized the second was a loser I had spent that money in mind. My heart …..................... Read Complete Article...
This morning I was out for my 20 mile run through the hills. As I was crossing one particular ridge I saw that Old Talking Tree Leaner propped up against a big Beech tree. I don’t know if he noticed me or not but I wasn’t slowing down to take the chance.
Not too long ago I was telling you about that old man who was camping in an old van down by the river ( In A Van Down By The River ). Well I had the good fortune of running into the old guy again this morning so I have some news from the hill.
So anyway, I was running along through the trees, rocks and badgers and right there in the middle of the trail was the old guy from the van. He had himself a fire built and was cooking up some coffee. He saw me coming and by the time I got to where he was he had already found a coffee cup and was reaching it to me. “Coffee?”
I looked at the cup and was completely amazed that …..................... Read Complete Article...
Making Money As A Kid Way Back When I Was One Of Them
When I was a kid we were able to earn money in many different ways. We lived out in the “boonies” and couldn’t get a “real” job but we did find ways to get cash if we weren’t too lazy.
Here is what some of my friends and I did to get our spending money.
We all saved pop bottles and copper. Boys would strip copper wires out of any old appliance that was thrown out. There were places and ways to get copper from time to time and we hoarded it like it was gold. A guy’s copper collection could even be used to “trade on”.
The deposit on a 16 ounce returnable glass bottle was ten cents. Folks still tossed them out of car windows and left them laying around. When folks went fishing or camping or something like that they never seemed to want to carry their trash back out with them. That included their returnable pop bottles, just left behind. It didn’t take long to collect up a …..................... Read Complete Article...
At our place we had animals, and having animals meant work. Seems to me that animals were always needing something. My dad would send me to feed and water. There was always a fence that needed repairing or some thing or other.
I had to go to the barn and climb up into the loft and wrestle down a bit of the hay separating the bats and tossing them down so that the horses and cows could get to it. When I did this I just naturally tended to be very careful because of a bad experience I had already had not too long before. You see just below where I had to cross some beams without flooring, in order to drop the hay down in the right spot, there was the big brown mushy swamp of cow pies. I slipped out of the loft while trying to tote too much hay one time. I reckon a person falls faster than hay because I wound up buried up in wet cow patties and sprinkled with hay. I’m sure that dad wasn’t happy about all that …..................... Read Complete Article...
This piece could have been titled Interview With A Hillbilly.
I was led back down a long hall way that separated the storage side of the barns from the rest. The last doorway on the left. A shadow in the shape of a man. The room is dark. He begins to speak, his voice garbled and disguised electronically.
My guide is explaining about the interview process but the mysterious figure is already talking. “Shh! Listen!”
The guide says, “Ha ha he talks funny,” and then continues to ramble about the coffee down at cafe.
I heard the mysterious figure expounding upon the deepest secrets and mysteries of the universe but I forgot to write any of it down because my guide was talking too much. “Shut up and Listen! I want to write down what he says!”
And here, friends and neighbors, is what he said:
When I was just a baby I used to cry every day because I wasn’t a hillbilly. Why did mom and dad have to go to the wrong side of the river just before I was born? How …..................... Read Complete Article...